Jcee

o Jcee

Please allow me to share with you briefly a little about who I am and how God has blessed me to experience many things without them killing or causing me to go crazy. However, there have been times when I thought that I was going to go insane. Today, I am totally convinced that “His Hand Is On Me”… And I believe just like me, His hand is also on you too. If you are honest with yourself and others you will discover that each day can be the best day of your life.

I was born a military brat. My family and I attended church regularly throughout the several states we resided in. Sheltered from the world, I was unaware of what to expect when I reached adulthood. My desire and passion to sing was discovered at age seven. At sixteen, I had a terrible encounter with someone in leadership that I deeply respected at a church I used to attend. Following that devastating encounter, I never went back to that church.

My skills as a vocalist progressed in time and opportunities began to emerge and before long I became involved with a popular east coast gospel group. Traveling the coast, seeing many things, meeting different people, I soon found myself becoming more and more frustrated. Annoyed with what was going on around me made it hard for me to comprehend what the (adult) Christian life was about. My desire to be a leader was tremendously strong and my expectation very high. I’ve always believed that Christians demonstrated Godliness by their actions, not only in the church building, but also outside of the church. There wasn’t a mentor to be found.

As I became caught up in the hoopla, my familiarity with other Christian leaders did not match what I understood Christianity to represent. I thought, maybe I was just a bit naive or perhaps I was just hanging out with the wrong crowd - but at the time, this was all I knew. I wondered to myself “If these Christians are supposed to be holy, then why do I feel so unattached and ashamed?” Was I being self righteous thinking like this?

Endeavoring to fit in with the crowd, I found myself making choices that weren’t very Christ like. I felt I was becoming like those “so-called Christians” that always leaves this unpleasant aroma in the air. I felt ugly and unclean and was usually found hiding behind my dark glasses.

My voice alone could hold the attention of many. I began to recognize the power that music had over people, and it was incredible. I was amazed! This was a power I did not want to deal with alone. I soon realized that there were folks in leadership who understood this power and were willing to take unfair advantage of others for their own personal gain. They had no problem creating false hope in the lives of people earnestly searching for truth. I personally was appalled with this behavior, unsure of how to respond.

I decided (not on my own) to depart the gospel music scene and ventured over to the secular. The secular scene was also sort of confusing too, but it was consistent. Most of the mean folks didn’t put on a front. They were mean and stayed mean. They were honest about being dishonest and after a while you knew exactly what to expect. Of course this was an uncomfortable environment for me. For some reason I just couldn’t find my place. The people I was involved with, knew that I didn’t fit, but never the less gave me the opportunity I had long desired because of what they would gain. All I ever dreamed of up to this point had come true… I had actually done everything that I ever wanted to do, but it was nothing like I imagined. The expectations of some were horribly gross and soon became spiritually disquieting. I watched as others went along just fine. But for me spiritually, it just wasn’t working.

I decided that I could no longer at that time, be involved with either the gospel or secular scene. Life wasn’t making sense, and I didn’t want to appear as a hypocrite. What’s wrong with me? Why does it seem like I can’t find my place in this world! Why can’t I find comfort and peace? Do I think that I’m better than others? What is it?

So after about twelve years of unanticipated disappointments, I left the music scene, went back to school, and engaged myself in a regular nine to five.

As I searched for something to call real, something better than what I had, I went to places like the library, hoping that I would find a book that would help me to understand my life. I opened many books, but each one seemed to be missing something. I turned on the radio and TV and heard many exciting things, but wasn’t sure if I could trust them. For some reason there continued to be this unexplainable barrenness in my life.

Just lying around our place collecting dust for about eight or nine years was this “Good News Bible” that was given to my wife by her aunt when she was fourteen. Unlike the traditional “King James” (which was very hard for me to comprehend at that time), this “Good News Bible” miraculously began to speak out loud to me in such a way that I could not put it down. Every time I opened the pages I would have this wonderful experience of awareness that I never could acquire anywhere else. Nothing like any man could ever preach. In my search, I discovered… As I discovered, I searched realizing that this Book of Books was the solution to all of my problems and misconceptions. It totally agreed with my spirit. It convicted and convinced me, and has been changing my life forever for what I have come to know is The Better Way.

Jesus says; “I Am the Way the Truth and the Life, no man comes unto the Father but by Me.”
We can only truly discover what this life is all about if we… “Seek first the Kingdom of God and His Righteousness, and then all other things will be added.” Everything is everything… This certainly stands true for me.

Life experiences so far has taught me that I may be able to find one man out of a thousand that I can trust… and that the fear of man is a snare, but trusting in the Lord will definitely keep one safe.


Life is worth living when one can be certain and totally sure of the present and what the future holds for them… When the thought of eternity comes in, one should realize that a choice is being made daily even if you’re not conscious of it. Eternity includes everything that we do today… Eternity always begins today for someone.

You see, everything I used to rely on, I found to be a counterfeit of the genuine. I have been learning to discern the counterfeit only by discovering the Knowledge of what is True. I wear a cross around my neck to remind me of all the things that I should be crossing out daily in my life that are against the knowledge of The Truth, and I ponder deeply how blessed I am to have been saved by the Savior.

Yes, Jesus chose me, and has been saving me from myself as far back as I can remember. My only reasonable service is to share in song and testimony to all others who are willing to hear. He, who has ears, let him hear…

It’s never about what others are doing around you when it comes to discovering who you are. No matter whom they are, they’re struggling (in different ways) just like you. They may put on a face that appears as if everything in their life is ok, but don’t believe them if you know that they haven’t put Christ first in their lives. You will know this by what they do. And to know this, one must first know Him!

When I think of having a personal relationship with Christ, I think of the benefits that come with never being disappointed again.

It is my desire to share with the entire world how Gods Hand has always been on me despite my rebellion. And just like me, I am sure that His Hand is on you too.

I am in love with the Word! If you listen carefully to the lyrics expressed in every song, you will hear over and over again my testimony.

I’m sure that many others have experienced some or maybe all of what I’ve expressed. I know that I am not alone. God has gifted me to write, sing, play and produce what I have posted so far. I hope that I am a man considered to be like King David …a man after Gods own heart.

I have come to know for sure what my mission in life is supposed to be…

Can you guess what it is?

Please help support me in my efforts to share this gift that God has given that comes straight from my heart and soul…

Blessings,

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